From One to Two

“What was the hardest transition for you? Zero to one? One to two? Two to three?” This question was posed at a baby shower for my friend who was pregnant with her fifth child.

I was pregnant for the first time so I listened in eagerly, rubbing my 4-month baby bump and silently taking notes.

“Definitely from no kids to one kid,” she answered. “But maybe that’s just because my first was a difficult baby and she never slept.”

I braced myself for a tough transition five months down the road. And then Norah was born.

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Anticipating a Son

Can I tell you a secret? I’m kind of scared to have a son. I always thought I would have two daughters. Obviously, there is no reason for this. It wasn’t even a longing, a hope, or a wish; although there is some comfort in being a “girl mom” that would bring a bit of familiarity to having two children of the same gender. Mostly though, it was just a thought that cemented itself more and more firmly in my mind over the past four years raising a daughter until I started to envision a future with two little girls in tow. I didn’t really believe that first ultrasound picture that clearly (at least to Brett – I still think all ultrasound pictures look like creepy aliens) showed that a boy was growing in my womb, not a girl as I had thought.

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Construction on Both Sides of the Window

A school is being built outside our apartment window. Every morning at 7:00 an air horn signals to the construction workers that it’s time to get to work. The structure is slowly stealing our view of the Hudson River. At certain times of year we can stand in the corner of our living room and still see the sky painted pink, purple, orange and red as the sun dips lower over New Jersey, but for the most part, our view is now of silver beams and orange netting as the building climbs skyward.

 

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Dear Norah

Dear Norah,

You started preschool this week.  Which is weird because I feel like I just found out I was pregnant with you like a month ago.  I don’t know what your vision of preschool has been, but it’s one of only two consistent things you have asked for over the past year.  (The other being a pony tail.  I’m sorry, sweetie.  If I could make your hair grow any faster, I would.  But that gift is just coming slowly, which I think is a gift to me.  I need to learn how to do hair before you have enough to do.)

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Weeding & Finishing Journals

I have a problem.  It might not be viewed as a problem for others, but it’s a problem for me.  I’m going to call it “my unfinished journal” problem.  You see, I have an entire box (let’s be honest – several boxes) full of unfinished journals from throughout my life.  For as long as I can remember I’ve kept a journal.  And for as long as I can remember I have never filled all the pages of a journal.  I start out motivated, but if I miss a few days or weeks and then sit down to write again it feels like weeds have grown over and I’m just not a gardener so I let them grow, toss the journal in to a box and start fresh.  This blog is hanging on the brink of becoming yet another unfinished journal. And if I hadn’t told people about it I think I’d find a way to tuck it neatly in to a virtual unfinished journal box and let the weeds take over.

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