A Winter for My Soul

in

About one mile in, the bike beneath me felt heavy. Each push down on the pedal felt like I had the resistance turned all the way up to imitate climbing a hill, but the trail in front of me was paved and flat.

I grimaced and pushed down again, feeling like I was biking through mud. Finally, a little over halfway to the brewery for our Saturday afternoon date, I yelled to Brett, “Stop! I need a rest.”

“Sure!” he said. No questions asked and no judgement in his voice. My pride found it ridiculous that I would need a rest just a few miles into a leisurely Saturday bike ride. This was not a difficult trail, but my heart was pounding and streams of sweat made tracks down my face.

After catching my breath for a couple minutes, we started again. The rest didn’t help at all.

Read More

New Year Benediction

in , , , ,

Last year, another writer challenged me to write a benediction for myself in January. I had already finished color coding my goals and filling out my planner, so it felt like a shift to speak kindness and grace over myself instead of expectation and striving. A good shift.

Benediction – the utterance or bestowing of a blessing

In Latin bene means “well” and dicere means “say”.

Here is what I wrote last year:

Read More

A Letter to Women on International Women's Day

in

Dear Women,

Happy Women’s Day! I don’t think that was a thing when I was growing up, but I’m just fine with it coming on the scene now. I like the opportunity to remind my daughter she’s strong and brave and kind and badass (I haven’t used that word out loud with her yet, but you bet I’m thinking it). I like the opportunity to reflect on my own strength and bravery and kindness and badassness (my computer is saying that’s not a word, but my computer is wrong). And I really, really like the opportunity to spend an entire day seeing women supporting each other and reminding each other how strong and brave and kind they are. Women are badass. I was pushing our gargantuan stroller up a very steep hill today and a woman yelled across the street to me, “Hey Mama! Happy Women’s Day!” She had a huge smile and pumped her fist in the air when she said it. I loved it, yelled back, “You too!” and pushed the stroller a little harder.

So yeah, I’m on board with a day to celebrate women.

Read More

The Heaviness of Light Things

in ,

The snow in Bozeman this year has been nothing short of magical. It dances to the ground almost daily and with no wind and freezing temperatures it has settled comfortably in the valley. Hay bales have thick white blankets and bare trees sparkle like a small child dipped their branches in glue and then dunked them in glitter. Every so often a small amount will fall from a tree or rooftop and if the sun catches it just right you could mistake yourself for being inside a snow globe.

I have driven past these four trees a few times this week. The branches are heavy with something light and beautiful. They look impressive carrying so much snow, sparkling in the sun and beckoning photographers to capture their strength.

Read More

Children, Children, What Do You See?

in , ,

The line is a familiar one if you’re a parent or a teacher. It’s from a sweet book about a brown bear and purple cat and yellow duck and a blue horse. It has singsong phrasing and can be memorized after only a couple readings. Yesterday I pulled it out to read with my 4-month-old before his afternoon nap. He was cooing on my lap as I read the question about each animal, Brown bear, brown bear what do you see? and so on. But that last question caught in my throat. My mind was not on the book filled with colorful animals and creative pictures. It was instead on our world filled with hurting people and hateful ideologies.

Children, children, what do you see?

Read More